Insomnia

So, here I am at 2:18 in the morning with nothing left to do but sleep or blog. Really, it would be just pathetic to go to bed so early on summer break. Therefore I will bore every single one of you until you are rolling your eye's at the computer by computing my day to day life if it's THE LAST THING I DO (before i go to bed, but pretend you don't see this little blurb).

Normally, I save this kind of tedious reading for future self and posterity in my journal (where it actually be of some worth someday, because I will be old and wishing I could go back to the glory days), but for some reason those huge blank pages are intimidating me tonight and I will probably feel more up for the challenge when I am avoiding getting out of bed. Actually.. I could just print this and wah-LahQ! (spelling error, but it looks cool so I will leave it... because of peer pressure duh! Because I am an insecure teenager.)

So more random things I think that I'll tell you. Well, this summer I have started to continue a book I started writing last year (why exactly, well that's a long story that I don't know if I feel like admitting.. or typing). If you are particularly bored you can read the first chapter here! don't even dare comment on it though because if your reading this, you obviously care for me and would call my burnt Easy Mac a grand feast. Honestly, you don't have to read it.

Yesterday (No, wait) Two days ago, I was going through old pictures of the family for my little Father's Day project, and I found the darnedest photo. It's of Uncle Mickey holding me at my birth with a very uncomfortable face. Then I was like, "wow, he looks so young!", when I showed Katie and then Katie Snappishly snapped back, "well, he was probably like our age!". Then again she might be wrong. I really wish I could get a decent scan, but never fear Aunt Mary, I will send them to you as soon as I get your mailing address.

Today is actually something to celebrate. hmm hmm...
It's Has Been Exactly Two Years That We Lived In Hawaii
I'm not really hoping to make it to three, but.... no I don't.

It's not that there is people that I really like or love. It's just not about them AT ALL. It's more of a combination of plain out weird stuff that don't really make people us subjects the cruelty, but still add up. The secludedness, the odd character of the island, the pre-judged feelings towards me, and just a lot of crap. Sure I am happy , but once whatever is making me happy is gone or over, the happiness just disappears. Like it wasn't mine to have. According to my family, I am probably the one that's most happiest (after my dad) living here, but I am not happy. I don't know, it's really difficult and I don't quite understand it myself. I normally don't talk about this kind of stuff, but it's been on the surface of my head a lot lately since we are stuck in limbo with finding out where in the world (literally) we are going to live next year. Plus, before with talking to any one in this household about the Hawaii issues it felt like I was telling a person who's mom just died that my pet bird flew away, and it turned into something similar to a battle that made me feel stupid and worse about everything. So instead I put petty things into my blog and journal (more in my journal though). If this is the closing to our Hawaii adventure I think we made the most out of it and lived it up.

I would be completely satisfied with all the wonderful friends I've made here, and learning to be friends with my sister. I guess what I am really afraid of now is instability and my opinion changing. Plus these coming up years are going to be some of the most important in mine. like, I'm gonna start driving, braces (which I think my teeth are fine, even though they may not be white pearls according to a lot of people, including me at some points,but I have learned to like them. They give my face a different shape that i think I've grown use to. However my mother disagrees with me because she's a horrible mother... not really), we have t move anyway sometime and if move after this next year, high school friendship circles will be tighter (thus harder to get into), and there's a lot of ands that I won't tire you with.

ah! It's 3:18 now!

I suppose now it time to celebrate Maddie's "Whole Hand" Birthday. That's right folks. This little Zinger is turning Fearless Five. Time to ship her of to Boot Camp.. I mean, All-Day Kindergarten! Hooray! Maybe her next year's birthday will be Not-A-Queen-Bee-Anymore-Because-I-met-Bigger-Kids-That-Didn't-Obey-Me-Sixth Birthday. Probably not though, because that's too long for her to remember and be excited about by the time she does.
We noticed today that I turn the same age plus ten of whatever Maddie is. So you better not forget what age I am turning in July because you get get a warning in June.

I actually ran out of things to talk about-- WAIT, I FOUND MORE!

• The sky in blue, just like the ocean
• My name is Marah Golding
• I decided, if I don't live in the Orangeville area when I grow up, I'm going to name a kid Emery. That is, after I race Katie and Aunt Allison to having a baby girl and winning the name of Lindy. (Aunt Mary... don't even think about it. Sign ups were a long time ago.) Katie claims she's older, I tell her three years isn't that much of a difference and even if she does settle down and have a kid first, doesn't always guarantee it will be a girl.
  
• We hot tubbed pretty much the whole day.
• Right now i am terrified of my neighbor that's sneezing very loudly at such a quiet and peaceful hour, and I can't get this door to lock, because I don't know how because somebody else is usually coming home very late (mother.. cough cough. Stupid work).
• For how late I am up ,I am so jittery and restless. I was hoping I would just crash while typing. No such luck.

Well , my next step is toughing it out, lying in bed. Then it's officially time for Tylenol PM. Good night my family.

P.S. Mom just came in and scared the living crap out of me, because I thought it was the neighbor again, then I turned around to see a figure coming my way and whispering my name. She told me to get to bed, then locked up more thoroughly. Goodnight.